it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Houston, we have a blender
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
