of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
