I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
