Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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