So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
