What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
