eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
