): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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