Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
