i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
