Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The beer is more important than you right now.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
