I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
