i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
