Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
