New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
