Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
