SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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