we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you would pick up someone in the library
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
