it was like having sex with a tree stump
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
