yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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