I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
