That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Randomize
