I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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