when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
