Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
