I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
