he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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