When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
