Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
