So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
