didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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