She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
that's an acceptable place to lick
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
