Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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