Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
