is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
