he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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