You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
