mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
