I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
