THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
