I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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