I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
