ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
