how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
