i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
