why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
