he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
