It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
