all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
