i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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