Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
