she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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