All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
