i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
