I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just invented taco cereal.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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